I recently received this exciting email about a job opportunity! Okay, okay, I don’t want to jinx this, but I am very excited. It was from the famously professional and not at all questionable “gammastaffing.biz” enterprise, and not only that but it was sent “via” the world renown business leaders of the third-party re-emailing service “vmcp02.digitalpacific.com.au.”
The Fighting VMCP-02!
According to Gmail’s support page a “via” address is shown when the folks at Gmail “want to protect you against misleading messages from people pretending to be someone you know.” But that says nothing about people you WANT to know, like the fine folks at vmcp02.digitalpacific.com.au, am I right?
I don’t know if I’m supposed to tell you guys this but their proposal was this:
Dear Jeshua Enriquez !
Regional Operator required
Our firm requires Regional Operator all over the country.
This is a home based employment. You can work whenever free of your full-time job. The details and list of duties will be enclosed in the next mail. Benefits, paid vacations, health and dental insurance, personal days.
Only 1-4 working hours per day Monday-Friday.
Have to be an grown-up
Personal Computer with internet and printer.
Any kind of bank account at any bank.
Live close to your bank branch.
Expenditures are recovered, you don’t need to invest anything.
This is an automated email message.
Send your resume/cv and one of our hiring department representatives will get in touch with you shortly.
Thank you for your interest. Appreciate your business.
Appreciate my business? I appreciate their appreciating it! They think I am “an grown-up”!
Immediately I replied, of course:
I am much to be responding for your email! Opportunity seems for to being perfect, for I am “all over the country” indeed! My personal travails to be taking me from one place to another (in order to be in evasion of “law enforcement officials” or what in my business we are to be calling “dealbreakers” AM I RIGHT, but more in regards to such monkeyshines in later developments to come).
Specifications seems to be in great accordance, for my primary qualification is high level of accomplishment in criterion of “Have to be an grown-up”! Any kind of bank account is also I am be having! Please to be perusing myresume/cv and contacting me or my associate for mutual ejaculation of business opportunity!
Dr. H.H. Holmes
Chicago IL of America
Master PHD DFA of Phrenology and Crenellation with Specialize in Mitteleuropaische Features Removal and Modification – Kim Il Sung University, Pyongyang North Korea, 1932
Previous Position: Self-employed in pursuit and manufacture of unique mink vest, materials orphan children
– Personal Handmade Repair of the Extremely Pregnant
– High Nazism
– Dry Mouth
Please to be providing address or phone for my associate’s scouting operation in regards to times when your home is much unguarded.
Yours in Christ,
I’ll keep you guys posted if they follow up. I think this is the start of a beautiful business relationship.