Pet Peeves

I love that the phrase “pet peeves” exists.

It’s affirming to know that because that phrase exists, we are all allowed to have things that we acknowledge we just don’t like, and if we’re skilled or persuasive, we can talk about our pet peeves without necessarily alienating people by making them think we’re whiny, bitter people. We can just use the phrase “pet peeves” and then have permission to proceed on a tirade.

Personally, I don’t know if I’m among the skilled and persuasive complainers, but because I’m a blog writer I’m empowered with the authority to present you with lists. The internet loves lists, and the internet loves to vent frustrations, and you, dear reader, are a part of the internet, right? Continue reading

Which Nazi War Criminal Are You? (Character Personality Quiz!)

the-shortest-personality-quiz-ever-jun-8-2012-9-600x400

There have been a lot of personality / which-character quizzes going around recently whose quality I’ve been very disappointed in. Especially those Buzzfeed ones where you just click really big picture squares that all have clip-art copyright text and then at the end it just has a one-sentence result: “You are [result]. So yeah.” Can’t we put a little effort in this? I was making personality tests for friends on paper when I was 15 and also even at 15 I could already read, so I didn’t need big picture squares.

And everyone on Buzzfeed always gets the same result because there’s a type of person who takes Buzzfeed character tests and they’re all exactly the same. Yes, that means you. There are other results possible but anyone who’s different from you doesn’t take Buzzfeed character tests. You are an internet-hipster drone. Your quirkiness is imitative.

Your opinions are copied from those you hope are smarter than you; the cute way you speak is just parsing things memes have said with a few words changed. You’re hiding behind a bland veneer so no one can see your insecurities within. I have taken it upon myself to create a few much more meaningful personality tests to find out more about who you really are, the way personality-tests should really be done. Enjoy below: Continue reading

Favorite Podcasts, Part 2

moth_logo_cover2In the first edition of the Favorite Podcasts series, posted last week, I wrote about my picks for the top three podcasts (that I listen to).

This time, I’m going into the second tier. At times I prefer shows in this section to This American Life, Fresh Air, and Savage Love, especially when they are brand new to me and exciting. But because I haven’t listened to them as long, they haven’t made it into my personal pantheon of favorites quite yet. As I’ve learned over the years I’ve been a podcast listener, sometimes shows that have a ton of promise can unfortunately burn out quickly and disappear without a trace, or the schedule becomes irregular. Or I just have gotten my fill and lose interest.

Second Tier

Among the five selections are a couple of new favorites plus a classic staple or two. These are in order of which I discovered first to which one I started listening to most recently.  Continue reading

I Chat-Sex With Andrea Rosemore

So last night I got a Gmail chat request from a sexy lady by the name of Andrea Rosemore.

I didn’t think I’d ever heard of a sexy lady named Andrea Rosemore, but you never know who you’ve met at some point and the Rosemores sounded like an upstanding family name so I accepted. Andrea’s thumbnail profile pic looked like this:

Andrea

so instantly all of my fears were assuaged.

At first it sounded like Andrea was an automated spam-bot that sent prepared responses and links to a scam webcam-chat site, but we ended up having a pretty meaningful (and steamy) conversation, which I copy and pasted below: Continue reading

Favorite Podcasts, Part 1

Podcasts are a major part of my life. I devote hours each week to keeping up on the latest updates, and every couple of months I discover a new one to love and slowly go through its entire backlog of episodes.

dan savageI’ve meant to write about podcasts for some time now. Podcasts are good for subway rides, waiting for the subway, walking to the subway, walking from the subway (turns out a lot of my life revolves around taking subways), listening while working, listening while taking a bath, listening while eating breakfast, listening while taking a walk, listening while jogging (which I admittedly don’t do often enough). Pretty much any time I’m not talking to someone. And because I don’t have to drive in New York, I never have to feel guilty about popping in my earbuds in transit. Continue reading

A Day of Lifetimes

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I’ve noticed that a lot of people aren’t doing what they think they’re doing. What I mean is they think they’re heading in a certain direction – a goal, or a dream, or a lifestyle – but what they’re doing is actually not taking them in that direction at all.

The striking thing is when you know what you’re doing on a daily basis is not taking you where you say you’re going. But you keep on doing it anyway. I think there can be a lot of sadness in the space between who you are on a daily basis and who you want to be in your lifetime.

Continue reading

Chicago is …

  • a hot dog salesman grimacing at the mention of ketchup
  • a man panhandling at a stop light
  • a sea of North Face jackets jogging next to Lake Michigan
  • a river dyed green
  • the third largest city that still calls itself the Second City
  • Continue reading