Chicago is …

  • a hot dog salesman grimacing at the mention of ketchup
  • a man panhandling at a stop light
  • a sea of North Face jackets jogging next to Lake Michigan
  • a river dyed green
  • the third largest city that still calls itself the Second City
  • a 19th century-style political machine running in the 21st century
  • a pair of gulls fighting over crust
  • a concert festival in a city park
  • peanut shells under seats in the nosebleed section
  • a summer boat ride where you’re sweating and then freezing and then sweating again, and then freezing once more
  • a Segway tour
  • a train ride with a scenic view of a drug deal in progress
  • fairweather fans of a team that sometimes wins on the South Side and diehard fans of a team that never wins on the North Side
  • a sassage sammich and a pop
  • a motel in the middle of downtown
  • fat white undercover cops yukking it up after making an arrest next to Union Station
  • sketch comedy with a political edge
  • a hipster who actually has a cheap rent and no trust fund n
  • a Walgreens and a Subway on every corner
  • the ghost of Frank Lloyd Wright
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3 thoughts on “Chicago is …

      • Mr. Walgreen and I have often discussed the rogue Reade and how he made off with a branch offshoot of Rhett Walgreen’s estimable pharmacy. After impregnating his daughter, Patricia Walgreen, Rhett laments Duane took off with a trunk of elixirs and nostrums out of Walgreen’s Packard De Luxe to sell while he lived it up in New York, and Walgreen had no choice but to recognize him as partner or risk shame to his daughter’s name.

Holla back, girl

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