So last night I got a Gmail chat request from a sexy lady by the name of Andrea Rosemore.
I didn’t think I’d ever heard of a sexy lady named Andrea Rosemore, but you never know who you’ve met at some point and the Rosemores sounded like an upstanding family name so I accepted. Andrea’s thumbnail profile pic looked like this:
so instantly all of my fears were assuaged.
At first it sounded like Andrea was an automated spam-bot that sent prepared responses and links to a scam webcam-chat site, but we ended up having a pretty meaningful (and steamy) conversation, which I copy and pasted below:
Andrea: Are you busy??
Sent at 10:05 PM on Thursday
me: Who’s this?
Andrea: Im bored and wanted to meet new people… 24,female..u?
Andrea: I’m feeling a little naughty want to have some fun ?? 🙂
me: I only like furries
Andrea: here’s a pic lol [inappropriatepicturelinkredacted.jpg] you like? hehe =)
me: You’re very slim for a man
Andrea: Haha, you want some more??
me: Only if you put on even more clothes
Andrea: [inappropriatepicturelinkredacted.jpg] my turn.. wow. I’m soooo turned on right now!
me: Have you ever fantasized about eating a congressman?
I mean, as sustenance
Andrea: Mmm…is the game getting “harder”? 😉
me: Do you care if I’m a Nazi?
Andrea: [inappropriatepicturelinkredacted.jpg] i want your cock baby really bad would you give it to me??
me: My question is, when can I give you my bank account info?
Andrea: [inappropriatepicturelinkredacted.jpg] ok last one lol, you’d love to fuck me wouldnt you 😉
me: I’m what’s called a fiscophiliac, and I can only cum if I give someone access to my financial information
Andrea: Baby we really need to go on cam i cant wait anymore
me: Do you want my social security first?
I mean, like, my social security check
Because I am 89
Andrea: [ScamSiteURLRedacted]/freeInvite here i invited you. it will take you to my live cam 😉
me: I might click if it was a “deadcam”
If you know what I mean
Andrea: Its free to join.. i promise..if it asks for a card it’s just to verify your age…im gonna get naughty and i cant have kids watching lol
me: If you mean that’s not a way you can get pregnant, that is correct
I feel sex ed these days is pretty lacking, huh
Andrea: Its worth the annoying signup babe, wait until you see what i have in store for you 😉
me: I still feel bad about that hit and run when I was 17
Do you think God will judge me for my actions, or for my intent?
Andrea: what is takin’ you soooo long babe i’m in here waitin’ for ya…
me: Because my intent was to kill the man
Andrea: Ok babe.. talk to you there!~ mwa! xoxo
me: MWA! Malawi Workers Alliance forever, no rest until communism!
Sent at 10:16 PM on Thursday
I think Andrea and I both really grew as people. If you know what I mean.